Find Your Lines 🧘‍♀️

Think of your High School Geometry Class.

Your body is a work of art. You just need to create it. Find a mirror. And just begin moving.

Point your fingers. Point your toes. Begin to see the lines connect as you move your hands above your head. Connect that imaginary line to your toes.

As you continue to move, you will start to see how each extension of your body lines up with another part of your body.

You are like the hands of a clock. Your core is the center.

Just begin moving. Watch yourself. You will see the art emerge and the lines begin to connect.

That’s Yoga my friend. Allowing your mind to align with your physical body.

Love to you all,

See You Soon!

🧘‍♀️

B

The Look Back

One day I will let my little girl go, and she will never look back. I know that. One day my heart won’t sink as she walks away with her head held high as she looks straight ahead towards her dreams and goals with her heart in her hand.

But, oh how I remember that first day. That first day she looked back.

Those large brown eyes turning back around to look back at me. Her hand already letting go of my mine as she turned her curly little head around as if to say,

“Where are you mom? I don’t think I can do this.”

I remember my heart sinking wondering if she could. Will she make it to her class? Will anyone help her? She’s so young. Hey Ms. Teacher, “This is her first time without me. Should I run to the front office and walk her to her room.”

Then I stopped. Took a deep breath, closed my eyes, opened them and out of the corner of my eye saw her little backpack rounding the corner as she made it through the school door. I lifted my head, put the car in drive and ignored the tiny little tear clouding my vision.

I know that my ultimate job is to raise her so that she feels strong, confident and ready. I know that. But sometimes I just don’t want to think about that.

It’s so simple. My job is to let go. My job is to get her ready to never have to

“look back”.

So that one day she doesn’t feel afraid for the unknown. She won’t have to look back to ask if it’s ok.

She won’t have to because she is strong enough to fight through the path ahead and make it on her own . . .

That’s my job. I get it.

But, one day I hope I’m strong and patient enough to sit and watch with a huge smile on my face . . . so that I get to watch my little girl hold her head high, look straight ahead towards her dreams and goals with her heart in her hand . . .

And maybe, just maybe she will remember to turn around for a few seconds and

look back.

Because this momma sure will be watching and waving with a tiny little tear clouding her vision.

I love you Sunny.

Love,

Mom

These

These

These are not pretty

They have carried babies.

Walked in a thousand dark rooms to kiss faces goodnight.

They are worn and bent and tired

But strong and stable and planted.

They’ve carried Pageant crowns.

Gowns.

Graduation caps

Twins. A blind child. And a curly haired baby girl.

These get stepped on everyday. They are not thanked or forgiven. They hold up a body torn from love everyday.

Just remember, it’s a step. Just take it.

Trust me, you won’t fall.

Point yourself in the direction YOU want to go.

And, THEN JUST GO!

#blindwithavision #justgo #itsonlyonestep

Be.

Be strong. Not mean.

Be beautiful. Not arrogant.

Be smart. Not degrading.

Be whimsy. Not flimsy.

Be humble. Not a doormat.

Be sweet. Not a treat.

Be passionate. Not hateful.

Be driven. Not given.

Be outspoken. Not scared.

Be broken. Not dead.

Be love. Not hate.

Be you. Love all.

Be

A Pinch

Positivity is so easy – Especially with children.

Just add a pinch of positive and let the imagination do the rest . . .

Instead of saying, “I can’t understand them.”

Try, “People with accents are so cool!”

Instead of, “Don’t stare at the wheelchair.”

Try, “Wow! Isn’t that the neatest seat that moves!”

Instead of, “We don’t talk to people on the street.”

Try, “Smile! I bet they will smile and wave back!”

Instead of, “That’s an old, yucky car.”

Try, “People sure did make some cool cars years ago!”

Instead of “Ugh, that child is being so loud in the other aisle!”

Try, “Sometimes we all have a bit of a meltdown. It’s ok.”

Instead of “Oh, they couldn’t afford the nice jacket for school.”

Try, “We should introduce ourselves!”

Instead of “Rainy days are boring.”

Try, “Grab an umbrella, lets go dance!”

I fail daily with responses like these. But, that’s why I like to write. Sharing what I try to learn everyday is important for me too.

It Sure is Going to be an Awesome Day!!!

The Storm

At some point during your storm, end the chase, plant your feet firmly in your ground and choose to bloom wilder, bolder, brighter and stronger than ever

before . . .

And when that next storm looms, you boldly and loudly shout, “Rain down, toss the winds, bring the thunder, crash the lightning. You will not break me. I am planted firmly.

I am strong!!!”

Enjoy the rain drops falling down on your face, let the wind move through you, listen to the thunder’s rhythm and watch the lightning’s guiding light. The storm is now your growth not your death.

This is your life. No one else’s. Yours. Be beautiful. Be bold. Be bright. Be you.

Iggy and Tiggy

Iggy and Tiggy

Iggy and Tiggy are best friends. Iggy and Tiggy live on the same street. They play on the same playground. They ride the same bus. They have the same friends.

Iggy and Tiggy are so happy together.

If Iggy jumps in a puddle, Tiggy jumps in a puddle. They are best friends.

Iggy and Tiggy love doing everything together.

One day, Iggy looks down and sees a rock. One day, Tiggy looks down and sees a rock.

Iggy’s was blue.

Tiggy’s was green.

But, then

Ms. Tilly walked up and said,

“In this town

we do not play with rocks of a different color.”

Tiggy looks at Iggy.

Iggy looks at Tiggy.

They both giggle a bit.

And, then they were the best of friends forever and ever.

Because what’s blue is green and what is green is blue.

Hehe.

They love each other.

And, I love you.

B

How to get out on your own

How to Financially Get Out of an Abusive Relationship:

Life Hacks for those with children needing to get out on their own.

First of all . . .

You can get out. Get down to the details. Literally down to the penny.

This is what will save you.

Three Words.

A Daily Budget.

If you spend a dollar on a bag of Doritos, that is 5% of your daily budget.

Eat those Doritos like a boss!

But, realize, you have to count that chip as a chunk out of your daily Doritos.

So, here we go,

From,

The Minimalist with four kiddos.

#1. Sex is not Love. You have no money. You want to spend every moment with your children.

#2. Listen to me. For just a second.

#3. You CAN make minimum wage and take care of your babies on your own. You can also not have a job and take care of your babies.

#4. FIRST OF ALL.

NO MORE PAPER TOWELS. YOU CAN

Use towels and and wash them everyday. Paper towels are expensive.

#5. Hygeine

Find a bar of soap. Not body gel. Get yourself a small car and use your social security number.

Thing is when you’re up you give, when you’re down you ask. Just remember, what falls down, always comes up. For air.

You will survive.

#5. This is a democracy. Go to WIC. Ask for food stamps. You just created a human. Ask for help. There is nothing wrong with that. You can live off of bread, milk, cheese, beans and cereal. Yes, you can!

#6. Adults with money will not help you. You must help yourself. Rich people don’t care about you. You have to care about yourself enough to be happy. And, you will be happy.

#7. Wake up. Even if it’s 6pm. You are not bound by the 8-5. You are you. Your time is yours. And, so are your children. They get the vacation of growing up in real time. Real life. What they learn in reality. Never get caught up in the nonsense of when other people say you have to live.

#8. Teach your children to pay for themselves. If you can clothe yourself at the goodwill, your children can create a business.

#9. Drink Milk. This will save you from having to go to the doctor. If you can coat your stomach in this magnesium, you will most likely save your life and clothe yourself in life.

#10. Taking time. Waking up. Reacting to your first Hollywood scene. Seeing your first love. Needing more time at the gas pump. Caring. Take time. You are you. Just be.

You. Go through the process. When you do, you will only know.

Being ok. But, letting others be a part of your process. We all know. We just need others beside us as we go.

Love. 😉

The Roma Tomato Boycott

Apparently, Roma Tomatoes are quite the fashion these days. Haha. Ok, so here’s the story.

Aldi, you are supposed to be so easy. She just needed Roma Tomatoes. Roma Tomatoes.

I’ve now been taught true patience regarding Roma Tomatoes.

Am I done yet? NO! I’m not done yet. I’m going to write a darn story about Roma Tomatoes and why I currently now boycott them from the face of the earth.

Digressing.

A sweet old lady in the grocery line before us wanted some Roma Tomatoes. Not the regular tomatoes that were twenty cents cheaper.

James is screaming.

She needed the Roma Tomatoes that were, unbeknownst to her, more expensive. Twenty cents a pack more expensive. We waited. We waited. We waited. Oh “Lordy yes there’s a mananger!” “Yeah those are Roma Tomatoes, they are twenty cents more than the regular Tomatoes. We are going to have to cancel and void out the Roma Tomatoes so that we can ring up the regular Tomatoes.”

James is screaming.

Cashier: “Can we just give them to her at the Roma price?”

The manager seemed to say, “Noooooooooo, you as an old lady do not deserve twenty cents less of a Tomatoe. So, we must ring you up at full price for your Roma Tomatoes.” And, me: “Noooooooooooo

YES! YES YOU CAN!!!!

Forty Cents is so worth it!”

People gathering. Managers consoling. As, James screams bloody murder.

“He’s got a poopy diaper people! Somebody pay the freaking forty cents.”

“Give her the regular Tomatoes. Holy moly!!!”

James is screaming.

Meanwhile the backstory is that James is sitting in the stroller in a pool of a diarrhea diaper from a horrible decision for me to homeschool from McDonalds. It’s horrible. He’s screaming. Life is no more. We must all die at this point of his horrible screaming of skin to diaper rash! Grociers running, shoppers a flailing people throwing food in the air. “Just give this boy a new diaper for goodness sakes!”

James is screaming.

Then, life calms. The sweet old lady opens her wallet and three dollars fly out. Miraculously she pays for the over priced Roma Tomatoes. She does not look happy at the stake of losing her forty cents. Meanwhile Jamesy is a mess. There’s no cure for the nothing that just happened. Just a walk away from the crumbling of an Aldi nation as we know it. Line 4 will never be the same.

Somebody give me forty cents for goodness sakes!

We return home and all is good.

#grocerydeathbyB

The Waitress

Yesterday for Easter wasn’t spent in between the walls of any place exciting. We slept, made breakfast, hung out together and then took a walk. Most days, I think nothing is going to happen, then, it just does. We gather up our clothes and shoes and take a brush to our hair and say “Let’s get outta here!”

And, we do.

Yesterday, was no where near the exception. Every time we do, we experience amazing people.

As we walked up the hill to the square, I thought, gahhhhhhh, this is so damn boring. Wrists throbbing from pushing and pulling the stroller, a spunky four year old and an encouraging blind Skyy.

I was being so super selfish. Lost in my own misery. Anyways, we strolled. Mensi’s was closed. Dyer’s was open. “Come on kids, we are getting waters and fries!”

LeeAnn greets us with a huge smile. “Hi, my favorite family! Skyy, how are you? Sunny! James and John.”

I’m like, holy moly! I truly needed to be selfishly emotionally vacant at this point given the financial circumstances I’ve lent myself. But!!!!

But,

Then, Jessica and LeeAnn emerged.

“How can we help? Let’s get you some drinks. Water? Lemonade? Tea?”

It was so weird. (Not really) LeAnn said that someone was going to pay for us to have a big dinner. On them! Oh dear, I’m horrible at this donation thing.

So.

We anonymously were asked to order the dinner of the week, most likely the month, because of some “dining in” patrons via the messenger of LeAnn and Jessica.

A Party ensued.

Jessica brought the kid’s table outside with the chairs. It was like a party with ketchup and fries and catfish

With piñatas!

Jessica grabbed up Sunny and Johnny and went walking on the square. And, LeAnn, well, she’s just the angel mom. “You’re going to be ok.” “Hey, I don’t know what you’re going through, but I’ve been there too.” And, we laugh, and joke and talk about life and babies. She didn’t have any babies, neither can Jessica. (That’s another story). But, the second we pass by, they seem to run to love us.

They just seem to run to love us.

What an amazing feeling. To be run towards. To be known. To be loved. To brush your hair, to move and for others to think you are so cool enough to be loved. That’s true love. I never thought I would find it.

There’s a time to be settled and there’s a time to run. There’s a time to be together no matter how long it takes. There’s a second, a minute, an hour, a day a decade to wonder why you’re doing what you are doing. But, I’m pretty sure that that second counts most down here. Take your time to enjoy the most amazing second that it happens.

Love. It will. Be. D

Sunny Grace

I tend to wonder why days are so hard. So busy. So monotonous. Then there’s this small amount of strength to capture that one moment. When one special girl finds her moment. Her amazing fashion. Her perfect personality. Her undeniably different. And, I was super honored take her picture. “. #lifeisgood #sunny #herhat #sunnyshat

Y.M.C.A!!!

As we arrive to the YMCA, a circus of ruckus. Two sweet boys, a little girl with a fire in her heart, and the smartest strongest blind girl ever.

We are met with smiles. Heartache rolling through the door. But, momma sucks it up and rolls through each door with helping hands to guide her. She barely made it out of her back door. So, a few hands to bring her back into the doors of the world, are quite welcomed with a humbleness she’s never known.

We are here. We are all in. The sweet kindness of people who don’t understand the un-normal.

All settled in for some elliptical and treadmill training. More like a fun time with your daughter away from all of the stresses of organizations. We walk. Together. “Mom, where is the accelerate button? Is this the incline button?”

Yes, ma’am. You’re doing amazing! Keep walking sweet girl! I’m so proud of you.

Cool down, slow it down. Treadmill slowly halts.

Man stops me.

“You’re a great mom. My son is autistic and has a hard time too. You’re doing a great job.”

I smile and say thank you so very much.

Then Skyy and I move on to the Elliptical machine.

Five words.

Five words.

24 hours in a day. 365 days in a year. 52 weeks in a year. A million words in a day.

And, five is all it took.

“You’re doing a great job.”

I smiled. I calmed. I remembered. I wrote.

I changed the world.

Then I remembered.

I did nothing. Love did.

Tell them why they are amazing. Say something positive.

B

My Little Family

This is the true life story of a single mom with four kiddos, the best life, hard days and the reason I promise not to fake it. No money. Borrowing a car. Blind fifteen year old. Spunky four year old. And, still pooping in their diapers, two year old twin boys.

Life is good. I say that a lot. But, I mean it. Flat tire on a Monday morning, a great way to meet people at 8am with no makeup who want to help you air up your tire and fix it for free while your children are in your borrowed van. It’s all going to be ok. Just wake up. Never give up. And, get some really good sleep. Oh, and laugh a lot! Really, a lot! Belly tickles will cure it all!!!

B

Skyy’s lyrics

So we’ve done whatever we’ve done So many things tonight

You sing a lot of songs You sing them all for love You sing about my love feeling

And now we’ve overcome how we got it all

And now you’ve seen so many times before

I said that I was right I said that I was good I’ve told you everything that you’ve always thought of

I’ve seen everything I can

And so I come and sing one song

And I want to be proud of

How I’ve seen so many things

And now you’ve come and taken my song

You are good to me everyone sing with me

You are good to me everyone sing with me

You are good to me everyone sing with me

Oh

Well I’ve heard that you are one of the things that you have done

So I can see how many times I want to say to you

I have a thing to do So I will sing a song

I’ve learned to think of how we’ve come really far From where we were broken But it all goes there with everything else

And I’ve learned to get away

Forever you will sing my song And it’s going to work out fine

And when it works out fine You will see the world.

Skyy

Skyy Jordan

Blind With a Vision

Touch their hand

Ok, I just watched Jimmy Fallon tonight. Ronnie Milsap sang. He kept reaching his right hand out after the performance. Here’s the thing people. When a blind person holds out their hand or reaches their arm out, HOLD IT!!! GRAB IT!!! You may be enjoying a great moment of music or whatever, but their great moment is touch! GRAB THEIR HAND! They’ve just sang and played their every heart out for you. Stop thinking of yourself and grab their hand. That’s their human! Grab their hand!!!

Skyy Jordan

Blind With a Vision

What is “Normal”?

When you allow your children their own vision, they will see themselves as themselves. Blind, odd clothes, loud, funny, happy, smiling and loving everyone around them. Just don’t hurt yourself or others, you tell them. And, you are the most beautiful and sweet child.

As I write this today, John has torn down the bath shelf, James has catapulted himself into the doorway and Sunny has fallen like twice. On her knees. No scars I might add.

That was all within an hour of our day . . .

Skyy got up from her cd studio and quietly shut the door to all of the chaos. 🙂

I guess what I’m trying to say is that, we try so hard to fix our kids. To make them better. More disciplined. More normal. Why?

Why in the world do we need normal? That changes nothing. And, change is everything.

How can we ask for a normal child, when we ourselves are so proud to make a difference.

So, love, you know they are born exactly the person they are. Wild, amazing and free.

And, who am I with my littered past to tell them they need to change?

To fit in.

To be weird with the normals?

Heck no. Move on and be you. That’s why you’re here right?

Tell your kids. Be themselves. Amazing and weird and fun and happy. Be weird. Because that is sooooooooo not normal.

I love you Skyy, Sunny, James and John.

The Less Traditional

I’m a mom. You can call me a “single” mom. But, honestly, that seems a bit redundant.

I’ve never been married. The only people I’ve said “I do” to are to my children.

Marriage in the traditional form just isn’t my thing. To me, it doesn’t make sense.

I’m married to my children. Abortion was never an option. And sex is not love.

Whew! Ok, I said it. So, here goes the rest . . .

You won’t see my wedding ceremony in pictures.

You won’t see my baby bump with days counted down.

You won’t see my kids in the latest initialed smocked clothing with smiles while grabbing the fresh cut grass.

And, you’re sure not going to see my initials hanging on my front door in wood frames.

You’re pretty much not going to see what you thought you might see from me.

But, here’s the truth.

What you will see. . . .

A beautiful blind kid asking a thousand questions. With walking canes and Braille. Echolocation! It’s hilarious, because when you meet all of us, we will probably be yelling random things to make sure Skyy can hear our location. A bunch of kids yelling at a blind teenager so she knows where we are . . .

It’s super cool.

You will also see,

A three year old dressing herself in ballet skirts and boots. Running around with “her babies” as she calls them. Listening to stories of princesses riding skateboards and Moana on the “Bluetooth.” Jumping with Skyy on her exercise ball and laughing so hard, “Mom, make a video of us!”

You get to see,

“The boys” . . .

Two rough and rowdy toddler twins hurling anything they can around the house. Finding every piece of dirt to put in their mouth. Yelling because it’s the last bite of food on the their plate. Creating loud “bumps” in the other room after running into goodness knows what.

Falling over vacuum cleaners and throwing the bouncy ball all over the house.

Side Note: You might think my house is messy. It’s not. No, but seriously 😉

What you will see is the coolest love ever.

The best life you never thought you could have imagined.

There’s not one day that I’m not proud to be a part of all of this. To answer those questions from a blind child, to find that pink ballet skirt, to catch those toys catapulted in mid-air, and to spend the rest of my life teaching each and every one of my children what true sight is.

I’m like super In love.

It the coolest thing.

Why am I writing this? I don’t know. Maybe I have a lot to say at this point.

B

By myself

Stood by myself in church today. Just me. No babies. No Skyy. No Sunny. No parents. Just by myself. A few open chairs to my left and a few to the right.

A year ago today, if you would’ve asked me to stand my myself, I would’ve had a full blown panic attack.

But today, the boys were with their dad, Skyy and mom were in the choir, Sunny was a few rows back with her best friend and dad was working in the nursery.

And, I just stood there. No nose to wipe. No hush to mention. No stroller. No hand to hold. No question to answer. No outfit to straighten. Nobody to impress.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. 🙂

But, then I did. My hands sank calmly by my side. I rocked back and forth. Sang the music. And, just let the tears run down my face.

As I stood by myself, I knew I wasn’t alone.

The ones I loved the most were exactly where they needed to be.

And, I was standing by myself with the exact person I needed to be with.

Alone.

Me and God.

It was pretty cool.

That depth perception

Sometimes the peace we feel at the end of the day isn’t because of the battle won.

Sometimes its because of the battle fought.

That moment after the uproar, the silence after the contradiction.

No winners. No losers.

Silence

It’s that moment of silence at the end of the day when you sit, slow, open your eyes, and hear the sound of nothing.

And in that silence, that nothing . . . that may be the reason, and the only reason, you even fought at all. Peace. Peacefulness.

The balance between fighting so hard for the good and then stopping to reflect on why you even fought for it at all. Reflection.

You can either sit and smile. Or sit and frown. Either way, you will wake up tomorrow and see life differently.

It may be a tough next day.

But, you know what?

That is called change.

A beautiful change.

Mom thoughts, and other things

Sometimes the peace we feel at the end of the day isn’t because of the battle won.

Sometimes its because of the battle fought.

That moment after the uproar, the silence after the contradiction.

No winners. No losers.

Silence

It’s that moment of silence at the end of the day when you sit, slow, open your eyes, and hear the sound of nothing.

And in that silence, that nothing . . . that may be the reason, and the only reason, you even fought at all. Peace. Peacefulness.

The balance between fighting so hard for the good and then stopping to reflect on why you even fought for it at all. Reflection.

You can either sit and smile. Or sit and frown. Either way, you will wake up tomorrow and see life differently.

It may be a tough next day.

But, you know what?

That is called change.

A beautiful change.

Gran gran

Woke up this morning. Super energized. Apparently the representative from Daylight Savings Time had given me one extra hour of sleep that lasts for one night out of the year. It helped. So, kids were dressed. Boys looking all dapper. Skyy in her best for choir and Sunny looking super cute in her blue dress. I didn’t look too shabby either.

The rain. Well, that was ok. Church was on my “to do” list and it was happening. So, I thought.

Apparently wind, rain, double strollers, church parking lots, a four year old, twins, umbrellas and only two hands don’t go together. Or more fitting, don’t work together.

I cracked. Might’ve uttered a curse word, or two on the church’s sacred ground. Kidding. No, but seriously . . .

“KIDS! Get back in the car. We’re out!”

So we just drove. East. Grabbed a coffee and just drove. Skyy stayed with mom to sing in the choir. Well, because she’s an angel and that were she needs to be.

But, me and the littles, we just drove.

Fall is beautiful in Tennessee. The reds and oranges and yellows. Cows. Pastures. Horses. Had a nice little church time there for a while with God and his creations and some cool local church signs along the way.

“Fall into church”

“Fall into faith”

“Fall in love with Jesus.”

And, you know what? I realized . . . I wasn’t driving.

I was being driven. Right were we needed to be.

Sometimes a little wind and rain isn’t about keeping you were you are.

It’s about pushing you away so that you are going right were you need to be.

Single mom, Political view

The best thing I heard today was how great it was that our nation is led by two parties. Whether we get along or not is not the issue. It’s how close we run these races as voters. A nation divided by a few votes is beautiful! That means we are actually closer to meeting in the middle than ever before. We are just all so lucky to be afforded the opportunity in this country to have a voice with a party of supporters behind us. Be grateful for today. Our founding fathers would be super proud.

Skyy’s Robe and Hook

Seems simple. An easy task. Wet robe, hang it up. It dries. Wear it the next day.

Such an easy task. We all do it everyday. Right?

Not so much in this house. A robe on a hook is a life long journey of, “No, I can’t!” “I can’t find it!” “Where is it?” “You have to do it for me!”

“No!” “We can’t!” “We are not going to do it for you Skyy!”

Followed by the,

“Yes, you can Skyy! You can do this!”

We all moved into this house two years ago. Mom, Skyy, Sunny and then James and John came along. Skyy was somewhat independent, but nowhere near the young lady she is today.

But she struggled with the, I cant’s”. “The “Where is its.” The “I can’t find its.” Nonetheless, her “I cant’s” were somewhat exhausting. So, we stopped. And, we all decided to lead her to where it all WAS, where she COULD and why she WILL!

So, life just kind of came to a hault. God filled this home with all of us. And, we did it! We listened. We laughed. We loved. We yelled. We cried. We ate. We cleaned. We made messes. And, we all just were.

And then,

Skyy listened. . . .

She found her way. Amongst the noise. The music. The sounds. She learned that she could find anything on her own by listening and moving.

In her brain. In her memory. In her courage and in her thoughts. Her positive thoughts. Her “I Can” thoughts. Sunny led her. The boys got quiet and watched her.

And, then, she did. She found her room. Her bed. Her CD player. Her closet. Her clothes. The kitchen. The living room. Her home.

And, then one day . . .

She found that hook far away, down the hall past the rug, around the corner, behind the door, above the toys, in the bathroom above that halfway hung shower knob where she could hang her robe up perfectly to dry.

Why do we see? To hang robes to dry?

Nope.

We find our hook, and we hang our robe.

And, then we see what truly matters. We can. I can. We will absolutely all do this together. We can see.

So, when you hang your robe on that hook, remind yourself that you did a darn good job of even just finding it in the first place.

Skyy is blind.

Good job you guys.

Love, B, Skyy, Sunny, James and John.

Someday . . .

Dear Mommas,

No, your life will not always be filled with diapers and wipes. Your days will not always be awoken with crying and laundry. Microwaving the Boyardee will be a thing of the past. Shoes will no longer litter your hallways. Toys won’t make their way into the toilet. And, the fight for the last cookie will be a hazard that you quite possibly may one day enjoy . . . But, in a throwback video. 😉

No, your life will not always. Be this way.

They say.

But, your life will be someday today.

Someday, whey they’re older, they will tug on your shirt for a hug. Sweaty, but tugging.

Someday, they will ask a million questions.

Someday, they will look up to you.

Someday, they will need you.

Someday, they will move one.

Someday, you will have taught them as much as you could possibly know about life so that THEY

are the very best humans for this world.

Someday when your older, they will tug at your heart so hard, that you won’t be able to breath. And when you do

Someday,

That day you will notice a silence

The most deafening sound ever

Your life not being filled with diapers and wipes and toys anymore. and . . .

A million questions unanswered.

And,

Well, you know.

You find that only one someday when all you need in life is to hear at this moment is . . .

“I love you mom”.

B

God Gave me You, Skyy

Sometimes I wonder why God gave me the opportunity to love Skyy so much. Then I wake up and realize.

Love is all that matters. It’s the most beautiful thing you will do everyday. Money won’t fix anything. Things won’t fix anything. Laws won’t fix anything. Status won’t give you anything. The past nor the present will fix us.

Being real will.

Let go.

Be in love.

Forget all of what they say matters.

Fall.

Let go. Be blind. Hold your arms out wide and fall. However your fall, make sure you find a focus. A love. A reason to live. To wake up. To be all of you. Together. We love you.

Can I be you?

The one finding love?

We tried so hard together. Now we get the second chance.

Ok, hand in hand. I will love you, because I love you. And, it’s all going to be ok. I love you, Skyy. That’s all that matters.

The Attic Up, Up and Away

So, I have this place in my attic. It’s where I go when life is overwhelming. When I need to hear my own breath. I get to just leave. So, close and so far away. It’s comfy. It’s a story up. Up an attic entry. Littered with pretty clothes, family pictures, pillows, blankets, tiaras, six-inch heels, evening gowns, an occasional pair of tights, hung lights and poems and me.

And, I just sit. Most nights. Night light on. I listen to music.

This is where I know I am going to be ok. Away from everyone. Just me. My memories of why I tried at all. I’m glad I don’t write a lot up here. It certainly would create for a wave full of mess.

Happy New Year loves!!!!

We have all got an amazing journey to do together. . . Get prepared!

There’s no year like the one you need the most.

The Christmas Glove

Here it is! 2017

“The Christmas Glove.”

Santa looked over and said, “Hey, is that Skyy?!!!” She was so excited. He remembered her from the years before. He had the glove in hand and a huge smile.

This is the story of how Skyy met the real Santa . . . For some of those who I have just met this year, Skyy is completely blind. 🙂

“The Christmas Glove: The True Story of How Skyy Met the Real Santa, Dec 20, 2014.

Tis the Season! We all decided that today was a good day to catch Santa while he was making his rounds in the Memphis area. Skyy had been rehearsing her speech to him for weeks! A Greatest Hit Eagles Album and a Talking Camera. Go figure!

I had read in the newspaper that Santa would be at the Collierville Square today. Skyy was so excited! We laid out all of our clothes last night so we would all be ready to take pictures with Santa. We drove to the square, and not one person was there. We were so confused. So we asked one of the store owners where Santa was, and he said that Santa had already come LAST WEEK. Skyy was so bummed. I wasn’t quite sure what to tell her. Then I remembered that Santa always made a stop at the mall! So off we went to the mall.

And, of course, the mall was super busy. The line to see Santa was out the door. So we hurried over only to be stopped by the security officer. “I’m sorry ma’am, Santa has to take a break, and we have to cut the line off here. He will be back later tonight.” Oh my goodness, we were so bummed, AGAIN! We stood there for a few minutes feeling a little perplexed. This was the last weekend we could see Santa, and coming back later that night wasn’t an option. Then, I felt a little tap on my shoulder. “Go on ma’am, just don’t tell anyone.” The security officer unhooked the railing and shuffled us in as the VERY last people in line.

Babies screaming, parents rushing, cameras flashing. You know the drill. When Santa visits the mall, it can be a little crazy. But we waited patiently in line for at least an hour. As we approached Santa and his elves, we noticed him yawning and rolling his eyes. He was obviously very exhausted and ready to get back to the North Pole. He even asked his elves, “I thought he was the last one,” referring to the crying boy in front of us. Obviously Santa needed a break. Even though we were last in line, at least we were there!

Skyy was READY! She was next. All decked out in her new jacket, boots and sporting her white cane.

Skyy is completely blind. She walks with a special white cane. Santa then lifted his head and saw her walking toward him and his entire face lit up! His exhausted frown turned to a smile and his Christmas spirit began to glow again. We were so excited. And of course, Skyy forgot EVERYTHING she had rehearsed weeks before. She sat on his lap and they talked about the fun of Christmas. All the while, the sweet photographer was making the very best out of photographing a completely blind child. Kuddos to all photographers!

As I walked over to the desk to choose the best photo of Skyy with Santa, I overheard the best Christmas story ever.

Santa began removing the white glove on his right hand and then handed it to Skyy. He looked at her with that sparkle in his eye and said that the glove was hers to keep. But only for a while. She was to immediately go home and place it on the Christmas tree. The glove was to stay on the tree until Christmas Eve. Santa said, “ I will be back Christmas Eve for my glove. Please keep it on your Christmas tree. And Christmas morning, you will know I’ve been there, because my glove will be gone.”

If you ever see our tree and wonder why we have a white glove hanging there before Christmas, let it be known, we met the real Santa Claus today! And he is coming to our house to get his glove back on Christmas Eve.

What a special morning that will be! When the white glove is gone from the Tree. Put a white glove in YOUR tree. And I bet Santa will come to your house Christmas Eve too to get his glove back. Because it sure is cold out there on Christmas Eve!”

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!